Living With the Prospect of Death and Allergies

I've fought the trauma associated with the prospect of death for much of the past year. Last August I watched my mother die and every day since I've dealt with the fallout. Five times I've had spider bites that were cases for the ER (after going all my life without so much as one), each time requiring antibiotics and sulfuric tablets. On a holiday getaway I was caught in the middle of a blizzard in the middle of the night. Twice I got a rabies scare when my un-vaccinated cat bit me--she was just playing but the bites drew blood--so I had to care for her during at-home quarantine. When I did get her vaccinated, it was too soon after one biting episode, so I had to live with the consequences. Now COVID-19 has made it dangerous to go to the grocery store or welcome visitors to my home.

What a time to suddenly develop uncomfortable and frightening allergic reactions, starting back around the holidays, to most of my regular cosmetics and toiletries. For months I've tested my reactions and found I can't use foundation cream, face powder, most soaps and cleansers, moisturizer, toner/freshener, or commercially manufactured shampoo or conditioner. I've had to stop wearing cosmetics all together (except for nail polish, lipstick and some eye make-up) and stop using anything on my skin beyond water and pure Ivory soap.

As my blogs of past months show, out of desperation I've switched to homemade shampoo and homemade conditioner. Even that has brought forth risks that were not predicted. On Thurday, Apr. 2, I tried a fresh batch of homemade shampoo from my usual recipe (found on below link), containing only distilled water, Ivory soap flakes, and olive oil, I don't even use any essential oil:

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Shampoo?fbclid=IwAR06tSkaMyZG-5DLXUIK-O7wMC9bfQc6vkDULjkNsn8FBAGhl4fzKEMUsTQ

I didn't use any conditioner, homemade or otherwise, for this most recent shampoo because I wanted to keep the possibility of a reaction as simple as possible. The following recipe for homemade conditioner contains guar gum, and I admit I'm not exactly sure how my system reacts to that. (The most likely other option, to use vinegar--I know I'm allergic to that):
https://www.myfrugalhome.com/homemade-hair-conditioner-recipe/?fbclid=
IwAR2HeFW6aB8a2ffWLzzSvMtnsbF3c1Qr2p5Kr6FZebxyxHBf3z19nnyRMDg

As I've reported in previous blogs, even using these homemade ingredients have left me with some reactions that I don't consider normal. I'm now trying to determine what that means, since, unless it's the guar gum, there's no shampoo/conditioner ingredient that gives me trouble.

After my Thursday-night shampoo I noticed brief itching along the nape of my neck and where my hair parts, both places where airborne allergens are likely to cluster. My (amateur) hypothesis, therefore, is that the itchiness is caused by airborne allergens--the dust, pollen, mold, and cat--that accumulates in my hair and on my skin. But the itching results as they're being removed.

More troubling is what I've reported/recorded before as an adrenaline surge (again, an amateur hypothesis, but the best description I can manage). After washing my hair, I feel my heart beat faster and my blood circulate faster, like I've had some vigorous exercise, even though washing hair hardly qualifies as vigorous exercise.

This symptom involving my heart, if it continues, I will have to discuss with a doctor or allergist, because anything abnormal involving one's heart can be serious. What I think though, is that, like the minor itching, my body is responding to the lack of allergens, to the removal of allergens. For decades I unknowingly bombarded my system with allergens every time I washed my hair, and that's not happening anymore, but my body is "programmed" to respond to allergens, even if they're not there. I'm not the most scrupulous person about personal cleaning, either, and I'm sure I've let airborne allergens accumulate in my hair and on my skin for longer than a healthcare professional would advise an allergy-prone patient to do.

So when allergens are absent from my system after affecting my system for some time--that's when my system reacts. My guess is that these strange reactions may compare to how one's system can react to lack of alcohol or drugs.

If I speak to a doctor, or have another episode involving my allergic reactions that I feel needs to be put on record, I'll blog again.