Comprehensive List of Anniversary Gifts With Commentary

Do you notice how lists of suggested anniversary gifts vary so much and can contradict each other? For some of the suggestions, what kind of a gift is that, anyway? For as long as I can remember, I've seen lists of proper traditional and modern anniversary gifts, but variations exist, which can make what's proper a question of what list you're consulting.

So below I attempt to compile all the suggestions I can find online or can recall coming across into one comprehensive list. Here's hoping others will find my observations useful--and I encourage what comments, suggestions, or additions you may have. 

 

First Year is always "paper" (except when it's not), harkening back to the days when paper was rare and expensive. People can have fun with this custom, having picnic dinners--or ice-cream-and-cake parties--with paper tableware, or take-out food in paper containers. Anything paper is fair game for a gift--stationery, picnic supplies, newspapers, magazines, books, tickets.

As for the rare occasions something besides "paper" is suggested--according to Wikipedia, "cotton" is a British custom but here in the USA the second anniversary is the "cotton" one (see below). 

I have, in my old-fashioned file of clippings, a list that states "paper or plastic" is traditional, but "plastic" would have to be a modern tradition, since plastic's been around less than 100 years. It makes more sense, though, than clocks, the usual "modern" suggestion, which, depending on the list consulted, may duplicate suggestions for other years.

Second Year is simple because I've never seen anything but "cotton" as the traditional gift suggestion, so it's obviously a time to give cotton household goods. For a "modern" suggestion you may find "china" but china is usually thought more proper for the fifteenth or twentieth anniversary (see below).

Third Year is "leather" (sometimes "leather or fur" because both are animal skin) and it's the only traditional gift suggestion I can find or recall. There's a contradiction, though--one of those curveballs that's common when perusing anniversary gifts--because leather is often the "modern" suggestion for the ninth year, and sometimes the thirteenth. 

So do you give a leather gift for the third anniversary and then turn around and give another leather gift for the ninth and/or the thirteenth?

To make things more confusing the "modern" gift (especially for those who find "leather or fur" not PC) is customarily "crystal or glass" even though "crystal" is traditionally given for the fifteenth or twentieth anniversary (see below).

Fourth Year is traditionally "fruit or flowers" so time for the fruit baskets and flower arrangements and flowering and/or fruit-bearing plants. Artwork featuring fruit or flowers is probably acceptable, too. 

For those who want to gift something more practical, "electrical appliances" is commonly the "modern" alternative. Occasionally you'll see "books" but that seems redundant since "paper" is already covered by the first anniversary. Wikipedia lists "linen or silk" as the British custom, but that's for the twelfth year in the USA.  

Fifth Year is almost always "wood" although I know I've seen "wood or clocks" somewhere, because I remember talking with my mother about how you could give someone "wood or a clock" for the fifth anniversary. I wonder if "clocks" may perhaps occasionally be the "modern" suggestion for this year. It makes more sense to me than the most often-seen "modern" suggestion, "silverware" since that implies people just can't wait for their silver anniversary to get their hands on silver gifts--and not just any silver but specifically and only silverware.

Sixth Year is a time when the gift suggestions appear unusually random. Customarily and traditionally you'll see an odd combination of "candy or iron" which would make more sense if "candy" followed the fourth year's designation of "fruit or flowers." (What comes after fruit and flowers? Candy!) 

"Sugar," a British custom (according to Wikipedia) that occasionally pops up on American gift lists, makes more sense, since it harkens back to the days when sugar was rare and expensive, and the "sugar" encompasses anything made with sugar, including candy.

I do have in my possession one list that suggests only "iron" for the sixth year--and I seem to recall seeing somewhere a choice of metals, perhaps "iron or steel."

As another example of what appears to be the randomness of this year's customs, "wood" is usually listed as the "modern" alternative, although I'm not sure what's so modern about wood, and it duplicates the customary "traditional" suggestion for the fifth year. Maybe it's for people who forgot to give a fifth-year gift? 

Seventh Year often presents another odd combination, wool or copper. I do have one list, though, that shows "copper or brass" (maybe because brass is a copper alloy). The "modern" alternative is "desk sets" although I'd think a couple would be more grateful for copper, brass, or wool household goods than to be overwhelmed with who knows how many desk sets.

Eighth Year is traditionally and commonly "pottery" or "bronze" (another copper alloy) or both. One "modern" alternative is supposed to be "linen or lace" although I'm not sure why those textiles are so "modern." Another occasional "modern" alternative, "electrical appliances," duplicates what's sometimes suggested for the fourth year. 

The British custom, according to Wikipedia, is "salt" but I don't know why that plentiful mineral would be a gift--I've never heard of it ever being rare or expensive. About the only gift-type "salt" item anyway might be salted meat or fish, or maybe stretch the definition to include salt shakers and salt cellars.

Ninth Year finds more controversy surrounding suggestions, varying by what list you consult. Sometimes "pottery" is for the ninth year instead of the eighth. Sometimes it's "willow" as in basketry, sometimes "pottery or willow" (implying you can give pottery or basketry). Sometimes it's "leather" or "leather or fur" and sometimes it's "copper." Which choices are traditional and which are modern also varies.

Tenth Year is commonly and traditionally tin, but that makes for very limited choices. Just what's made of tin, other than food tins? Do tin alloys count? 

One occasional alternative is "aluminum" which would make sense for a "modern" choice, aluminum being a modern invention, but the "modern" choice is more often "diamond jewelry" which seems to me a rather tasteless way of telling people you don't think they'll make it to their diamond anniversary.

Eleventh Year is fairly simple, almost always "steel" although since steel is an iron alloy, I do seem to recall seeing "iron or steel" somewhere. 

One "modern" alternative I find is "jewelry" but no designation as to what kind, making me wonder if someone expects this to be the year of cheap costume jewelry, or if you're supposed to rush with the gems and precious metals ahead of their traditionally appropriate years.

Twelfth Year tends to be traditionally "silk or linen" which is apparently the common American custom although the British consider those textiles to be second-year gifts, and "linen" duplicates the "modern" suggestion for the eighth year. 

For a "modern" alternative here, "pearls" are often advised even though they're also the "traditional" choice for the thirtieth year, which is a long time after the twelfth.

I'll add I'm sure I've seen "wood" somewhere, even though every list I've found recently lists "wood" for the fifth year (and/or sixth year) instead. I know because when I celebrated my twelfth anniversary at a job, I guessed that was the anniversary for wood, and a co-worker agreed and gifted me a wooden pencil. When I got a chance I checked a source that confirmed my guess--but what source, I no longer know.

Thirteenth Year is mired in redundancy, because every possible suggestion I've researched, no matter what source, duplicates another year's suggestion. Sometimes you'll see "textiles" (any textiles--silk, cotton, wool, linen, lace), sometimes just "lace" (a repeat of one possibility for the eighth year) or "fur" (or "leather or fur") which repeats suggestions for the third and ninth years.

 

Fourteenth Year provides us with a good example of the kind of curveballs I see anniversary gift lists often throw, because if you look at Hallmark's website, it sticks to very common traditional choices until it gets to the fourteenth year, then it suddenly veers to "gold jewelry," perhaps accommodating those who just can't wait for the golden anniversary.  

Maybe Hallmark was concerned that almost always the traditional suggestion is "ivory" which isn't PC anymore. (Antique-shop ivory would be acceptable, though). Depending on the source, sometimes alternatives such as "ivory or jade" or "ivory or coral" pop up.

Fifteenth Year is almost always "crystal," starting off a tableware theme of crystal, china and silver. I do seem to recall, however, that I've occasionally seen lists that reverse the "crystal" and "china" anniversaries. 

One "modern" option that's sometimes listed for this year is "watches" although that suggestion offers no indication of what metal or why only "watches" and not "jewelry" or "clocks." Imagine a couple being overwhelmed with matching watches, and you'll probably just get them crystal instead.

Most anniversary gift lists skip to five-year intervals starting here. However, in another good example of the curveballs that can sometimes come with anniversary-gift lists, Hallmark's website just keeps going with yearly gifts (or "themes") all the way to the sixtieth year. If you want to follow Hallmark's marketing ploy, you may browse their website. I'm just going to adhere to the custom of five-year intervals.

Twentieth Year is "china" (sometimes called "porcelain") unless it flips with the fifteenth-year gift, in which case the twentieth year is "crystal." 

Sometimes "platinum" is listed as a "modern" option, but that would probably date from the days when platinum was less desirable than gold or silver, one more indication that "modern" options aren't actually all that modern.

Starting with the twenty-fifth year, finally some consistency arrives, because I don't recall ever seeing any example where the traditional gifts vary. In the interest of completeness, I'll include them here.

Twenty-fifth year: the silver anniversary. Always! 

Thirtieth:  pearl

Thirty-fifth:  coral or jade

Fortieth:  ruby

Forty-fifth:  the precious sapphire or the semi-precious tourmaline

The Fiftieth Year is the golden anniversary and you'd better give gold.

Fifty-fifth:  seldom observed because, perhaps, people are still looking back on the golden anniversary and anticipating the diamond anniversary, but the fifty-fifth year is for precious emeralds and sometimes semi-precious turquoise. If you know a couple who's lucky enough to make it to their fifty-fifth year, help them celebrate it!

Sixtieth:  the diamond anniversary, of course! 

As for anyone who manages to make it to the seventy-fifth anniversary, more diamonds are well deserved.

Some helpful links:
https://ideas.hallmark.com/articles/anniversary-ideas/anniversary-gifts-by-year/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_anniversary

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